It's gone; gone for good I guess. I've still got the most important things, all those things based on love and belonging.
IT. . . was a nearly finished novel—wiped out completely. I did something stupid, and it disappeared never to be seen again. I'm assuming it was my stupidity. What is my stupid is that I hadn't backed it up yet. Yes, yes, yes, I know.
My decision lies with the question of DO I EVEN BOTHER? It's going to bring me to another question later on that will involve you, the reader, if there are indeed any readers. It appears that I might have had a few gazelles wander down to my little watering hole. I appreciate you for noticing.
I'm sad, I guess; I'm mad, more at myself than anyone out there; I'm numb mostly. I'm getting so tired of beating my head against the wall.
I lost a novel today; it's gone from my system. If someone out there knows how to potentially recover it, let me know—I think it's impossible.
DO I EVEN BOTHER?
Do I even bother to write it again? I have a written outline, a scene map, character arcs and all that, but I've been staring at it, and wondering what my motivation is for giving a crap? I've been tripping over tropes since time immemorial with not much to show, and I'm glyph gone, symbol subdued, word wasted. My question to the wide world: WHO CARES?
I thought I would have been more torn up about it, but I wasn't. To my credit, I took in stride. I was cool. Easy come, easy go, right? Who am I kidding?
Maybe it's a sign? Who am I kidding? I don't believe in signs. I do know what failure feels like though. I'm sure there are gleeful ones out there who smile big Grinch smiles when they see shit like this. Writer, hah!
It was going to be (it might still be) a fantasy novel, a planned trilogy—no, I'm not going to talk about that part—and I was looking forward to going over the first draft in the next few days, but no, NO.
I lost a novel today; it's gone, flushed away, recycled down some digital drain.
Here's the question(s); you want to talk with me, you go ahead and talk; if you don't want to talk, okay, fine; makes no never mind:
What should I do?
What would you do?
Has this ever happened to you?
If so, what did you actually do?
Did you rewrite the lost piece?
Or-did you start something new?
Any computer savvy folks out there who could help with recovery operations, give me a holler.
I lost a novel today. I moped a bit; I raved a little, but that's it: You won't. . .see. . .me. . .shed. . .a. . .tear.
Signing off till the next time,
Bill Bowling